I am fine today, and how are you? I hope this weblog entry finds you in the best of health. I am Prince MAO Kawanza, chairman of the West African Expatriate Legal Defence Fund, an institution established under the late Nigerian Head of State, General Sani Abacha, for the provision of legal assistance to travellers from West African states ensnared in difficulties with foreign criminal justice systems. General Abacha chose to fund our laudable institution by means of a special tax on revenues from the Nigerian petroleum sector, which revenues are estimated to total more than USD 45 billion yearly.
It is now clear that this defence fund disposes of several billion dollars of superfluous monies, appropriated for use in legal proceedings which have been unexpectedly and prematurely terminated. This we can see from a recent report in the Dutch newspaper Het Parool (E-Mail Fraud Cannot Be Prosecuted), which brings us the glad tidings that cases in Amsterdam criminal court against thirteen of our Nigerian compatriots, for the alleged sending-out of tens of thousands of e-mails seeking to defraud their recipients, have been thrown out for lack of evidence.
These thirteen were among fifty-two gentlemen arrested last January in police raids in Amsterdam and the Amsterdam suburb of Diemen in apartments where illegal (i.e. unpaid-for) broadband Internet connections were being used to send out these massive quantities of electronic communication. Police found computers containing special programs for the efficient despatch of such huge quantities of e-mails, as well as charts detailing fictitious companies and organizations, plus multiple telephone-lines complete with instructions as to which name should be used to answer each telephone. Prosecutors had requested fifteen months’ detention for these, my fellow countrymen, but fortunately the court released them instead, citing a lack of evidence that the accused had actually engaged in these fraudulent activities, even though they had been present in the said apartments at the time of said police raids.
This is happy news, my friend – not only for my unjustly accused countrymen, but also happy news for you! For this joyous outcome has freed those aforementioned several billion dollars of what are now unneeded funds for the payment of legal professionals – if a way can be found to release them from the escrow account established for that sole purpose.
Unfortunately, financial safeguards erected at the time of the West African Expatriate Legal Defence Fund’s origin deny us the flexibility of extraction of these funds from escrow for any other purpose than European legal expenses, even when these have proved to be unnecessary. But payment to the Fund from “outside” is of course always authorized. What is needed is an intermediate bank account, to act as this conduit for the return of these monies back to our Fund’s general pool of financial resources.
I have word on good authority that your own long-standing support for the cause of justice for Africa makes you an excellent candidate to ask to offer us this assistance. Your help shall by no means go unrewarded. Rather, we are glad to offer you a 5% “facilitator’s fee” on all the monies moved via your own bank account back to aid the general cause of West African expatriate legal defence. This provides you with USD 50 million for every USD billion that we are able to restore via your kind support – and we have many such billions that now sit needlessly in that European escrow account!
Procuring justice for West African citizens unfairly harassed by legal authorities elsewhere in the world is an arduous and thankless task. It takes a truly enlightened man- or woman-of-the-world to recognize that as the worthwhile cause that it is. Please, show your engagement to this cause by e-mailing to this weblog the necessary bank account details: your bank’s name, account number(s), image file of your signature, any passwords, mother’s maiden name, as well as your credit card numbers and their associated three-digit security codes. Or feel free to demonstrate your support for justice for West Africans proudly, in a public forum, by committing that above-named information to the comments section of this weblog entry!
Africa, the land of human-kind’s origin, has given so much to the world both before and throughout recorded history. Now, Africa requires some small assistance back – and you are there to help!
God bless you, honoured brother/sister!
Prince MAO Kawanza